This one's about the long goodbye.
Key Takeaways
- Guest Blake Collier shares his personal experience navigating his father Rodney's 14-year battle with early-onset Alzheimer's.
- The episode addresses the heavy emotional weight of the 'long goodbye' and watching a loved one slowly disappear.
- Blake discusses the difficult reality of making the facility call and saying your piece before your father forgets who you are.
- The conversation offers validation for sons who choose to skip genetic testing out of fear, proving that your grief does not need to look like anyone else's to count.
- Writing things down serves as a powerful alternative tool when talking fails and grief sits heavy on your chest.
This episode is for any guy whose dad disappeared in slow motion. If you've watched someone you love forget who they are — or you're the son who made the facility call — start here.
Blake Collier's dad Rodney had early-onset Alzheimer's for 14 years. Rancher. Property manager. Voracious reader. Devoted Christian. A man who used to punch holes in walls — and later became a teddy bear.
Blake parked the truck and watched his dad work in circles for 45 minutes. He sat through the mumbled Thursday prayers. He walked into a daycare where his dad didn't know who he was. And after the diagnosis, Rodney told him he'd fight it — and Blake made it about ten minutes down the road before he lost it.
This one's about the long goodbye. The genetic fear you won't get tested for. The day you say your piece knowing he might not hold it. And the line Blake wrote for the eulogy that still hits: there's 100 deaths. Which one do you want me to talk about?
In this episode, you'll get:
• Language for the slow disappearance — when “forgetting things” doesn’t cover what you’re watching
• Permission to skip the genetic test (and stop feeling weak for not wanting the answer)
• A real map of the facility decision — so you’re not inventing it alone the week it hits
• A way to say goodbye while he’s still here, without needing the perfect speech
• A frame for why it keeps hurting in waves: “there’s 100 deaths”
• A tool when talking fails — writing it down so it doesn’t sit on your chest
• Proof your grief doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to count
About Blake
Blake Collier is a writer and a son from the Texas Panhandle — the kind of place where emotions don't help with survival, until they have to. His dad Rodney was a renaissance ranch guy. Then came early-onset Alzheimer's. Fourteen years of decline. Blake rode the whole arc and processed a lot of it the only way that worked: writing it down. Not a therapist. Not a grief expert. Just a guy who took the long version of losing his dad.
Chapters
0:00 — Dad didn't know who I was
1:50 — Welcome Blake Collier
3:00 — Texas Panhandle. Emotions don't help with survival
4:20 — Rodney: ranch, property, renaissance man
5:40 — The anger that punched holes in walls
9:00 — College advice and the history switch
10:00 — Mom saw it first
10:40 — I parked the truck and watched him for 45 minutes
12:15 — "I will do my best to fight it"
12:50 — I lost it on the drive home
15:00 — The mumbled Thursday prayers
17:30 — When hope started dwindling
18:00 — The day of the facility
21:30 — The visit where I said my piece
25:00 — "There's 100 deaths"
27:00 — The genetic fear I won't get tested for
28:40 — "Ride along with me"
29:30 — Writing it down instead of saying it out loud
31:00 — Grief looks different for everybody
About Dead Dads
Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham. Honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc.
You're not alone.
Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/
Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/deaddads
Produced with support from JAR Podcast Solutions — https://jarpodcasts.com/
Frequently Asked Questions
Who is the guest on this episode of Dead Dads?
Writer Blake Collier joins hosts Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham to discuss losing his father to early-onset Alzheimer's.
What is early-onset Alzheimer's like for family members?
As discussed by Blake Collier, it involves a slow 14-year decline where family members must navigate the painful transition of watching a strong father forget who they are.
How do you cope with the grief of a slow goodbye?
Blake Collier processed his grief by writing things down instead of keeping it all inside, and by acknowledging that there are '100 deaths' along the way.