Dave Siff texted his 85-year-old dad and got one garbled reply back.
Days later he was in the same ICU where his mom died, deciding when to pull the tube.
Then the breathing tube came out — and his dad's eye shot open and locked onto him. Dave made himself hold the stare. "This is it. I can't look away right now."
What he didn't know yet: something mysterious killed his father.
This one's for the guys whose dad's death came with a mystery they're still carrying — the ones who got a sudden, no-warning loss and a cause of death that didn't make sense until it was over. Not for you if you want a tidy, comforting take on dying.
*🎧 In this episode, you'll hear about:*
- Why a sudden, no-warning death can leave you more wrecked than a long goodbye ever would — and why that's not you overreacting
- What it's like to make the call to stop treatment, and the second-guessing that follows you afterward
- The strange relief of finally getting an answer — and the new kind of weird that shows up once you have it
- Why the last ordinary thing you did with your dad — a sandwich, a drink, a habit he taught you — ends up carrying more weight than the funeral
- How losing your dad can quietly reorder what you'll put up with in your own life
- The permission to find some of this darkly funny without feeling like a bad son
*👨👦 About Dave and his dad, Paul*
Dave Siff lost his dad, Paul — suddenly, at 85, with no warning. Paul was a college professor of 42 years, a cyclist, a scotch drinker, and the guy who taught Dave to add "two, three, four drops of water" to a bourbon. This is a conversation about what a father passes down, and what gets quietly reordered when he's gone.
*⏱️ Episode chapters*
00:00 Garbled Text Warning
00:11 Welcome And Guest Tease
00:46 Support The Podcast
01:54 Meet Dave Siff
02:04 Why Dead Dads
02:29 Introducing Paul Siff
04:17 A Healthy 85
05:53 Procedure Goes Wrong
08:55 ICU And Uncertainty
12:02 Palliative Care Decision
13:23 Final Moments And Shock
14:16 Cause Of Death Revealed
15:33 When He Stopped Being Him
17:09 Anniversary And New Priorities
21:32 Keeping Dad Alive
22:54 Guilt And Self Kindness
24:25 What Grief Teaches
25:05 Thanks And Subscribe
25:47 Closing Tagline
*Another guy in the club* → Matty Woods on his dad's funeral with two rules: https://youtu.be/Ocm8NTnDLX4
*🖤 About Dead Dads*
Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations for guys who are grieving, remembering, avoiding, laughing, carrying on, or trying to understand what losing a father did to them.
You’re not alone.
*☕ If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee:* https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast
*Follow Dead Dads:*
Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/
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*And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts:*
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBPzgj151SFYRUZeSB?si=fe005fdf079249b8
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dead-dads-podcast-grief-support-for-men/id1867632438
*New episodes every week.*
Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/