James turned 21. He spent the day on the golf course with his mates. That night he was downstairs drinking champagne while, upstairs, his dad Willie was dying.
At 10pm — on his birthday — it was over.
That was the day James became a man who'd lost his father. Same date he's supposed to celebrate every single year since.
James sits with Roger and Scott to talk about bowel cancer, the diagnosis day, the final days, and what 25 years of grief actually looks like when the loss is stitched to the one day you can't avoid.
This one's for: the guy whose grief is decades old and still shows up on a specific date. The guy who lost his dad young, before he'd figured out who he was. The guy whose birthday quietly became an anniversary.
Probably not for: the guy who thinks grief comes with an expiry date. 25 years in, James will tell you it doesn't.
*🎧 In this episode, you'll hear about:*
Losing his dad Willie at 10pm on his 21st birthday — and what that does to every birthday after
Grief 25 years later, and why it never fully closes
Who Willie actually was
The day the bowel cancer diagnosis landed
Fighting, coping, and the final days
"Death math" — the arithmetic of anniversaries and how old he'd be now
Health checks, colonoscopies, and the fear that comes with becoming a dad yourself
Living a whole adult life without a father's advice
Keeping grandpa alive for kids who never got to meet him
The hug he gives his own kids now — the one Willie gave him
What James would say if he got one more conversation
*👨👦 About James and his dad, Willie*
James Wood Robertson lost his dad, Willie, to bowel cancer 25 years ago — at 10pm on his own 21st birthday. He's spent the quarter-century since figuring out how to carry a loss that lives on the calendar, how to be a father without a blueprint, and how to keep a grandpa alive for grandkids who never met him.
It's a conversation about father loss, cancer, the strange permanence of grief, and the small inheritances — a hug, a habit, a piece of advice — that outlast the person who gave them.
Also, yes, there are laughs. Because grief is weird like that.
*⏱️ Episode chapters*
00:00 Why James Is Here
01:05 Support The Podcast
02:31 Meet James Wood Robertson
04:23 Grief 25 Years Later
07:31 Who Willie Was
08:26 The Cancer Diagnosis Day
11:37 Fighting And Coping
12:46 His Final Days And Passing
15:37 Anniversaries And Death Math
16:56 Health Checks And Fatherhood
19:23 Life Without A Dad's Advice
23:01 Keeping Grandpa Alive
26:23 Hugs And Lasting Love
27:10 If He Could Talk Again
29:24 Final Advice And Goodbye
*Another guy in the club* → Matty Woods on his dad's funeral with two rules: https://youtu.be/Ocm8NTnDLX4
*🖤 About Dead Dads*
Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations for guys who are grieving, remembering, avoiding, laughing, carrying on, or trying to understand what losing a father did to them.
You’re not alone.
*☕ If Dead Dads has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee:* https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast
*Follow Dead Dads:*
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*And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts:*
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4WWlXBPzgj151SFYRUZeSB?si=fe005fdf079249b8
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dead-dads-podcast-grief-support-for-men/id1867632438
*New episodes every week.*
Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/