20 Years Later — What Grief Looks Like When the Dust Settles (ft. Mike Wasko)

Mike Wasko's dad died 20 years ago. He's still figuring out what that means.

At 29, Mike became his father's primary caregiver after a cancer diagnosis. Then he walked out of a doctor's appointment knowing something his dad didn't — and had to decide what to do with that information. That moment changed everything.

Two decades later, Mike sits down with us to talk about what grief actually looks like when the raw edges start to dull. Spoiler: it doesn't disappear. It just shifts.

In this episode:

• What it's like to grow up with a father who intimidated everyone around him — and why Mike now calls that "a gift"
• Becoming his dad's caregiver at 29, and the one conversation he never should have had to have
• Why he finally went to therapy — and what his therapist said that reframes grief completely
• The "cosmic joke" of watching his youngest son become his late father, trait for trait
• The crater analogy: why grief isn't something you get over — it's something you get used to

"Grief is the cost of loving someone. And that's just a perfectly natural response."

If you're years out and still feel it — this one's for you. And if you're just starting, this is what 20 years of living with it looks like. It gets different. Maybe even better.

Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction: Who Is Mike Wasko?

01:21 – Mike Joins the Pod: 20 Years of Grief

02:34 – Why He's Talking About It Now

04:23 – Meet Bob Wasko: "Larger Than Life"

06:23 – His Dad's Parenting Style: Tough Love & Unconventional Fun

07:25 – The Diagnosis: Six Months, and a Secret to Keep

13:34 – Giving Up His Life to Move In With His Dying Dad

15:12 – The Falling Out — and the Reconciliation That Changed Everything

18:16 – Anger, Therapy, and "The Cost of Loving Someone"

24:50 – Becoming a Dad and Finding His Father in Himself

29:10 – His Kids Ask Why Grandpa Died (and Want to Build a Robot of Him)

31:37 – Approaching the Age His Dad Died

32:28 – Mike's Grief Analogy: The Crater That Never Fills

35:35 – Final Thoughts & Where to Follow

🎧 Dead Dads Podcast is a grief support group for men that laughs way too much. New episodes every week on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, and everywhere you listen.

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