He Got the Call… and Had to Tell His Family His Dad Was Dead
Start here if you need the quick version
If you’re dealing with losing your dad, or your dad died suddenly and you had to handle everything, this episode will feel familiar. John got the call. Then had to sit down with his mom and brother and tell them their dad was gone. No plan, no instructions, no will. Just responsibility. The kind you definitely didn’t apply for… but somehow got the job anyway.
If you have a little more time
John shares what it’s like to lose a father when nothing is prepared. There’s no will, no clear instructions, and no estate planning. You have to make big decisions while you’re still trying to process that it really happened.
We talk about what it’s like to tell your family that someone has died, and how it feels to be the one sharing that news. In the first few days, funeral planning, logistics, and paperwork appear right away, like a to-do list you never wanted.
There’s also pressure that hits fast. People expect you to be the strong one, to stay steady, to carry it for everyone else. This is where emotional stoicism in men shows up, and where it can start to crack a bit under the weight.
We also talk about the unfinished conversations, the questions you never asked, and the things you assumed you’d have time to figure out. Turns out, that part doesn’t just fade out quietly.
This episode is also practical. If you’re looking for real advice on losing a parent or trying to understand how to deal with grief, there are takeaways here. Especially around what happens when there’s no will, and how avoidable estate planning mistakes can make a hard situation a lot harder.
If you’re dealing with the loss of a father, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers an honest look at grief without pretending it’s simple or easy.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What it’s actually like to get the call and then be the one who has to tell your family
- What the first few days look like after your dad dies, not the version people imagine, the real one
- How to handle everything when there’s no will, no plan, and no clear instructions
- Why the pressure to be “the strong one” shows up fast, and what it does to you
- Why the conversations you didn’t have stick with you longer than you expect
- How to make decisions when nothing feels clear and you don’t trust your own judgment yet
- What you can do now so your family isn’t left figuring it out while they’re grieving
John and his dad
John Abreu spent his childhood in both Venezuela and Canada. His father (John Abreu Sr.), a mathematician, lived by discipline, hard work, and always being there for his family. He encouraged John to think more deeply and strive for better, even if John didn’t always see the value then.
In 2022, his dad died suddenly, with no plan and no will, leaving John to tell his family and handle everything that followed. Now he’s focused on carrying forward what mattered, while being more open and proactive so the people around him aren’t left guessing.
In this episode:
0:00 – Why Small Moments Hit Hardest (grief shows up when you don’t expect it)
0:23 – What This Podcast Is (real talk about male grief, not expert advice)
1:02 – Why Talking About Losing Your Dad Matters (even if guys avoid it)
2:42 – What You Carry From Your Dad (what only makes sense later)
6:01 – The One Sentence That Sticks Long After He’s Gone
7:24 – What You Might Do Differently (especially around stoicism)
8:53 – What It’s Like to Get the Call (how fast everything changes)
12:09 – How to Tell Your Family Someone Died (when you’re not ready)
13:47 – When Responsibility Lands on You (and you don’t get a choice)
16:27 – What the First Few Days Look Like (shock, logistics, priorities)
17:38 – What Happens Without a Will (why it gets heavier)
19:17 – How to Make Decisions Without Clear Answers
20:14 – What “Doing It Right” Means (burial, cremation, meaning)
21:58 – How to Honor Someone So It Lasts (beyond the funeral)
23:59 – How Grief Changes Over Time (staying strong isn’t enough)
25:45 – How Losing Your Dad Shows Up in Parenting
28:24 – The Questions You’ll Wish You Asked (and why you didn’t)
31:50 – What You Can Do Now to Prepare (so family isn’t guessing)
33:21 – What Grief Sounds Like Years Later (the sentence that stays)
About Dead Dads
Dead Dads is a podcast for guys figuring out life after losing their dad.
It’s real conversations about grief, identity, and everything that comes after.
You’re not alone.
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Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast
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New episodes every other week.